Church
Humor
LOT'S
WIFE
The
Sunday School teacher
was
describing how Lot's
wife
looked back
and turned into
a pillar of salt, when
little Jason interrupted, 'My Mommy looked back once while she was
driving,' he
announced triumphantly, 'and
she turned into a telephone pole!'
----------
GOOD SAMARITAN
A
Sunday
school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan. She
asked the class, 'If you saw a person lying on the roadside,
wounded and
bleeding, what would you do?'
A
thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence, 'I think I'd throw up.'
----------
DID
NOAH
FISH?
A
Sunday
school teacher asked, 'Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was
on the
Ark
?'
'No,'
replied Johnny. 'How
could
he, with
just two worms?'
----------
HIGHER POWER
A
Sunday
school teacher said to her children, 'We have been learning how
powerful kings
and queens
were in Bible
times, but there is a Higher
Power. Can
anybody tell me what it is?'
One
child
blurted out,
'Aces!'
----------
MOSES
AND
THE
RED SEA
Nine-year-old
Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School.
'Well,
Mom, our
teacher told us
how God
sent Moses
behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt
. When he got to
the
Red Sea
, he had his army build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked
across safely. Then he radioed
headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the
bridge and
all the
Israelites
were saved.'
'Now,
Joey, is that
really
what your teacher
taught you?' his mother asked.
'Well,
no, Mom. But, if I told it the way
the teacher did, you'd never believe
it!'
----------
THE
LORD
IS MY SHEPHERD
A
Sunday
School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of the most
quoted
passages in the Bible -
Psalm 23. She
gave the youngsters a month to learn
the chapter.
Little Rick was excited about the task - but he just
couldn't remember the
Psalm. After
much practice, he
could
barely get past
the first
line.
On
the
day that the kids were scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky
was so
nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the microphone
and said proudly,
'The Lord is my
Shepherd, and
that's all I
need to know.'
----------
BEING
THANKFUL
A
Rabbi
said to a precocious six-year-old
boy, 'Your mother says your prayers for you each night? That's
very commendable. What
does she say?'
The little boy replied, 'Thank
God he's in bed!'
----------
UNANSWERED
PRAYER
The
preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and bowed
his head for
a moment
before starting his sermon. One day, she
asked him why.
'Well,
Honey,' he began, proud that his daughter was so observant of
his
messages, 'I'm asking the Lord to
help me preach a good sermon.'
'So,
how
come He doesn't?' she asked.
----------
UNTIMELY
ANSWERED PRAYER
During
the minister's prayer one Sunday, there was a loud whistle from one of
the back
pews.
Tommy's
mother was horrified. She pinched him into silence and, after
church, asked, 'Tommy,
whatever made you do
such a thing?'
Tommy answered soberly, 'I
asked God to teach me to
whistle,
and He did!'
----------
TIME
TO
PRAY
A
pastor
asked a little boy if he said his prayers every night.
'Yes,
sir.' the boy replied.
'And,
do
you always say them in the morning, too?' the
pastor asked.
'No
sir,'
the boy replied. 'I
ain't
scared in the daytime.'
----------
EQUAL
REPRESENTATION
When
my
daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime
prayers,
she would bless every family member, every
friend, and every pet,
current and
past.
For several weeks, after we had finished the
nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, 'All
girls.' This
soon became part of her
nightly routine, to
include
this closing. My curiosity got the best
of me and I asked her, 'Kelli, why do you always add the
part about all girls?'
Her
response, 'Because
everybody always
finishes
their prayers by saying 'All Men'!'
----------
SAY
A
PRAYER
Little
Johnny
and his family were
having Sunday dinner
at his grandmother's house. Everyone
was seated around the
table as the food was
being served. When
Little Johnny received
his plate, he
started eating right away.
'Johnny! Please
wait until we
say our
prayer.' said
his
mother.
'I
don't
need to,' the boy replied.
'Of
course, you do.' his mother insisted. 'We always say a prayer
before
eating at
our house.'
'That's
at our house.' Johnny explained. 'But
this is Grandma's house
and she knows
how to
cook!'
The following
cartoon is courtesy of www.reverendfun.com,
Copyright Gospel Films, Inc.
PARISHIONER SUBMISSIONS
Submitted by Ann T.
Original source Graceland's
Bag-O-Laughs
http://graceland.gentle.org/bag.html
ROOM SERVICE
